Hundreds of thousands of young people are heading off to college this time of year. Unlike previous generations, today’s students will not have to completely bid farewell to their parents — they can remain in constant contact with mom and dad through text messaging, email, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, Google+, Skype, and a variety of other social platforms.
College is a time to explore, build relationships, discover new things and ultimately grow as a person. Through technology, today’s parents have the unique opportunity to remain connected to their offspring and experience some of the special day-to-day moments in their kids’ collegiate lives. Taken a step too far though, this sustained connection can annoy a student or even cripple his or her ability to develop into an independent, fully-functioning adult.
The number of parents connecting with their college-aged kids via social media has increased so rapidly in recent years that sites like Oh Crap! My Parents Joined Facebook emerged, along with parody videos like The Onion’s “Facebook, Twitter revolutionizing the ways that parents stalk their college-aged kids.”
Here are some guidelines for effectively using technology to communicate with your college student without being overbearing.
Staying in touch with your son or daughter via social media can be a great way to offer support at a distance, as well as pick up on any danger signs (such as depression or drug abuse). But your ability to have this connection is ultimately dependent on your student’s level of comfort inviting you into his or her social world.
One college student might happily accept his mom as a Facebook friend and even encourage her to connect with his friends, while another would be mortified to know his mom is scoping out tagged photos from last weekend’s fraternity party. Every parent/child dynamic is different. That’s why it’s important to talk with your student and let her set some ground rules for your social media connection. Together, determine which platforms you should use to stay in touch. Find out whether she’s comfortable with you commenting on photos and wall posts. Familiarize yourselves with privacy settings, which offer significant control to students who wish to selectively share content with parents.
Don’t insert yourself into personal conversations or private moments that happen to be taking place in a venue to which you have access. Just as you wouldn’t intrude on your daughter’s romantic dinner date at a restaurant, you shouldn’t inject yourself into her Facebook wall-to-wall conversation with her new crush.
Likewise, be mindful of what’s public and what’s private on the social web. If you’re worried about your son’s excessive partying, it might be more appropriate to discreetly message or text him, as opposed to publicly commenting on his 2 a.m. Foursquare checkin (“Shouldn’t you get some sleep? You have an exam in the morning!”) or posting a concerned message on his Facebook wall (which will be visible to his 900 friends and might even pop up in their news feeds). No college student wants to be embarrassed.
Facebook and Twitter give you a nice window into your student’s day-to-day activities, but other platforms offer even more useful and effective means for communication.
Consider Google+. Through the “hangout” feature, you can enjoy a casual video chat with your student — great for quickly catching up at a time convenient for you both. It’s also easy to pull in third parties, so you can ask Grandma or Uncle Bob to join in the fun, too! Along the same lines, the “huddle” feature allows for group messaging among select circles of people (such as family) — ideal for keeping your student in the loop with household conversations while he or she is away at school.
Some colleges offer niche online communities for parents. These communities serve as great sources of information about college events and happenings (which can be conversation starters when you talk to your student). Participating in these communities can also help you connect with other parents who are probably experiencing many of the same thoughts, wonderings and concerns as you.
Just because you can communicate with your student 24/7 doesn’t mean that you should. Remember, college is a time of growth, exploration and self-discovery. For these things to happen, students need to experience what it’s like to make decisions independently. While you can and should actively support your student’s college pursuits, resist the urge to be a constant voice in his ear (or message in his inbox).
This fall when you send your student off to school, take comfort in the fact that he or she is just a poke, tweet, or Google+ hangout away. While leaving the proverbial nest to go to college has always been a big adjustment, technology can make the transition a little less intimidating and a lot more enjoyable for all involved.
College is a time to explore, build relationships, discover new things and ultimately grow as a person. Through technology, today’s parents have the unique opportunity to remain connected to their offspring and experience some of the special day-to-day moments in their kids’ collegiate lives. Taken a step too far though, this sustained connection can annoy a student or even cripple his or her ability to develop into an independent, fully-functioning adult.
The number of parents connecting with their college-aged kids via social media has increased so rapidly in recent years that sites like Oh Crap! My Parents Joined Facebook emerged, along with parody videos like The Onion’s “Facebook, Twitter revolutionizing the ways that parents stalk their college-aged kids.”
Here are some guidelines for effectively using technology to communicate with your college student without being overbearing.
1. Let Your Student Set Some Ground Rules
Staying in touch with your son or daughter via social media can be a great way to offer support at a distance, as well as pick up on any danger signs (such as depression or drug abuse). But your ability to have this connection is ultimately dependent on your student’s level of comfort inviting you into his or her social world.
One college student might happily accept his mom as a Facebook friend and even encourage her to connect with his friends, while another would be mortified to know his mom is scoping out tagged photos from last weekend’s fraternity party. Every parent/child dynamic is different. That’s why it’s important to talk with your student and let her set some ground rules for your social media connection. Together, determine which platforms you should use to stay in touch. Find out whether she’s comfortable with you commenting on photos and wall posts. Familiarize yourselves with privacy settings, which offer significant control to students who wish to selectively share content with parents.
2. Respect Your Student’s Space
Don’t insert yourself into personal conversations or private moments that happen to be taking place in a venue to which you have access. Just as you wouldn’t intrude on your daughter’s romantic dinner date at a restaurant, you shouldn’t inject yourself into her Facebook wall-to-wall conversation with her new crush.
Likewise, be mindful of what’s public and what’s private on the social web. If you’re worried about your son’s excessive partying, it might be more appropriate to discreetly message or text him, as opposed to publicly commenting on his 2 a.m. Foursquare checkin (“Shouldn’t you get some sleep? You have an exam in the morning!”) or posting a concerned message on his Facebook wall (which will be visible to his 900 friends and might even pop up in their news feeds). No college student wants to be embarrassed.
3. Branch Out From the Usual Platforms
Facebook and Twitter give you a nice window into your student’s day-to-day activities, but other platforms offer even more useful and effective means for communication.
Consider Google+. Through the “hangout” feature, you can enjoy a casual video chat with your student — great for quickly catching up at a time convenient for you both. It’s also easy to pull in third parties, so you can ask Grandma or Uncle Bob to join in the fun, too! Along the same lines, the “huddle” feature allows for group messaging among select circles of people (such as family) — ideal for keeping your student in the loop with household conversations while he or she is away at school.
Some colleges offer niche online communities for parents. These communities serve as great sources of information about college events and happenings (which can be conversation starters when you talk to your student). Participating in these communities can also help you connect with other parents who are probably experiencing many of the same thoughts, wonderings and concerns as you.
4. Avoid Over-Communicating
Just because you can communicate with your student 24/7 doesn’t mean that you should. Remember, college is a time of growth, exploration and self-discovery. For these things to happen, students need to experience what it’s like to make decisions independently. While you can and should actively support your student’s college pursuits, resist the urge to be a constant voice in his ear (or message in his inbox).
This fall when you send your student off to school, take comfort in the fact that he or she is just a poke, tweet, or Google+ hangout away. While leaving the proverbial nest to go to college has always been a big adjustment, technology can make the transition a little less intimidating and a lot more enjoyable for all involved.
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1 comments:
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